Charlie: A Birth Story

So I lied. While I was pregnant I really didn't want to share a birth story- I felt like it was too personal in a way, an overshare- something I should keep closer to home, more for the baby book and not for everyone else. But it just feels weird not to share my experience of how Charlie came into the world, especially after sharing Henry's. I tried to jump right into a "first week at home" post, but I kept feeling like something was missing in the chronology. And it was. So yes, I lied. And here is our sweet Charlie's story.

The second time doing anything is always a little easier in a way, or at least when you're talking about a c-section. The first time for me, with Henry, was an emergency surgery, something that was so far from any plan I had in my head, anything we'd even considered, that a lot of my experience was scary, at least in the beginning. But the thing about childbirth, no matter how you do it, is that you get this amazing prize at the end, and it makes anything you go through to get there insignificant. But this time, the second time around, there was no emergency. There were no two days of natural labor. There were no vitals dropping and being hurriedly wheeled in the operating room and getting a spinal between contractions. There was no crying, no shaking, no being terrified that something really, really bad was happening. There was none of that.

This time, Hank and I woke up in the morning, drove to the hospital, and had our baby. We knew what day. We even knew what time. And as unnatural as that would have sounded to us before, it felt perfectly right to us this time around.

The night before I wasn't sure how I would sleep, knowing that in less than 12 hours I'd be holding our little boy in my arms. And like most women almost 40 weeks pregnant I didn't sleep much, waking up every few hours to go to the bathroom. I did manage to get some rest though, and when my alarm went off at 5am I got out of bed quickly, full of excitement and nerves and noticing the tiniest touch of adrenaline that was starting to creep into my system.

My parents and sister had spent the night, so they stayed with Henry as Hank and I made our way to the hospital. We arrived at 6:45am as directed, two hours before my 8:45am surgery. We checked in and were pretty quickly brought back to my room, where our nurse came in and had me sign some papers, then inserted my IV and started fluids. And speaking of the IV, with Henry it took 6 different nurses a total of one hour to get the IV in my hand but this time we were one and done...THANK GOD. I absolutely hate getting my blood drawn or IVs put in (the placement at the thin skin of the hand totally creeps me out) and inevitably someone will always say "but you have so many tattoos!" Let me set the record straight here, people- they are totally different things; different pains, different needles, different everything. So I was pleasantly surprised it took the nurse one second to get it over with. Thank goodness.

I had three things I was totally freaked out about going into the c-section, outside of the surgery itself- getting the IV in my hand, having the catheter put in, and the spinal. So as soon as the IV was in I felt a huge relief that one of the three was checked off the list. I also made sure to ask to have the catheter put in after the spinal so I wouldn't feel it, so I mentally checked that one off too, even though it hadn't been done yet.

The two hours went by so, so quickly and before we knew it Hank was in his scrubs and they were wheeling me down to the operating room. They have the husband wait outside while they do the spinal, so Hank sat outside in a chair while the anesthesiologist did his thing. You should know that I was terrified of this part. Even thinking about it days before the operation I would get queasy, and I told the anesthesiologist this and he assured me it would feel like a bee sting, at worst. When I had gotten the spinal for Henry (I never got an epidural) I had already been in labor and in so much pain, that I don't remember what it even felt like. But this time going in completely fresh and coherent was a whole new ball game. I was part nervous, part terrified. The shots they did first actually hurt worse than the spinal, and when he was done I was SO surprised that it didn't hurt at all.

Hank came back in at this point and I made the huge mistake (seriously, never do this), of looking over at all of the tools on the table. Holy shit. At this same time the spinal was starting to do it's thing, and I started to lose feeling in my feet and then my legs. Telling your lower half to move, and then not being able to move isn't a pleasant feeling, and because you're numb to your chest it feels like it's hard to breathe. The best way I can describe the sensation is that it's almost like drowning in yourself. But if you just don't think about it, it's no big deal...just don't do what I did and check out all of the horribly scary-looking surgical tools and then focus on the fact that your chest feels like it has a huge weight on top of it. Mistake. But I got it together and started to relax, did some deep breathing and before Hank and I knew it they were operating on the other side of the sheet.

Time seemed to go slow here, and for awhile I just closed my eyes. During a c-section you can't feel a thing, except for a lot of pressure. I knew we were getting close to Charlie making his entrance as the pressure starting getting a little more forceful, and suddenly I felt them tugging and pulling...and then, in an instant, heard that sweet, sweet sound of our baby's first cry. Truly, there is no better sound in the world. Hank and I just looked at each other, tears in our eyes, and within a moment they had him on the other side of the curtain to show him to me. It was beautiful.

They then brought him over to the table to check him out and do all of the weighing and measuring, then back over to me so I could love on him for a minute before he and Hank went back to the recovery room to wait for me to finish getting sewn up. Right after having Henry I had been shaking insanely hard to the point of my arms being out of my own control, but this time I didn't have that shakiness at all, thank goodness. So my doctor quickly finished up, then they wheeled me back to the room where Charlie was placed right on my bare chest and started to nurse. Like Henry he took right to it, and right there...that was bliss.

Charles Stephen was born at 9:13 that Friday morning, and we spent the rest of the day in the happiest cloud of smiles and laughter and some tears too, especially when my family brought Henry in to meet Charlie for the first time. We'd been talking to him the entire pregnancy about being a big brother and what that meant, but still- you never know how an almost-three-year old will react. When he walked in though, the proud smile on his face killed me. He was so incredibly excited. Henry came right up to the bed and said "Hello, Charlie! I'm your big brother Henry." In that moment my heart might have stopped from happiness; it was really one of the sweetest moments of my life.

To be perfectly honest, it's still a bit weird to me to have had my babies this way. I'm someone who doesn't even take headache medicine or drink caffeine, so the idea of having a plethora of strange drugs pumped through my body, a spinal block in my back, and an IV drip going for a full day makes me incredibly uncomfortable. But when all of my plans shifted so rapidly when I had Henry, and then I realized the best option for baby number two would be the same route, I accepted the fact that sometimes, we do what we have to do. I've never felt like this way of birthing is lesser-than, or that I missed out on anything. I've always felt a strong sense of pride that I was able to safely have my first baby, and now my second, whatever way it had to happen. So when I type all of this out, and it's missing so much of what I thought I would have included had you asked me years back to describe my ideal birth, it just reminds me that childbirth, like much of life, is unpredictable. And really, that it's best to focus on that happy ending, no matter which way it comes.


Happy birthday, Charlie boy. We love you!

So here we are.

photo credit: Emily Snitzer

So here we are. The last day of being this little family of three. I've been counting down until tomorrow for what seems like a year...and I guess it almost has been. But like I've said before, it's strange to be in a place you've imagined so many times. I felt this way when I graduated from college, and again from grad school. I remember sitting up there in the bleachers, at that very point in my life I'd worked to get to, imagined being at so many times, and then...just being there. It's a little weird, a lot exciting, and totally surreal.

These past almost three years have been so, so wonderful. I think of them like I think of the first years of Hank and me. We can't ever relive them, we can't ever get them back, and they are beyond special in not only their reminiscent qualities but in their simplicity. I think back to sleeping on a tiny twin bed in a closet-sized room, surrounded by hand me downs and things leftover from college days. There's beauty in that. That was almost 10 years ago, and looking back at those days, those nights when the heater in that old, old building would be out, when we just made enough to cover rent and bills, when we would sleep in until noon and stay up until 3...that was the beginning. At the time it didn't seem like "just starting out," but as you move through life and away from those first days and months and years, things last and you realize the life you've been waiting for is already happening- the beginning is what those times become.

And so I think back to those first days of Henry, that little newborn with the wrinkly skin, so tiny we weren't sure how to even hold him. Those powder-scented diapers, the miniature socks and hats and onesies. I remember those first nights feeling kind of lost, not knowing how I could even survive the next day on an hour of sleep. But I did. We did. And so those days and nights, the first days of being a family of three, they all faded into the next days, until suddenly here we are. Almost three years later, and one day away from welcoming in our second son.

The beauty of it all is that we never really know how things are going to turn out, or what life has in store for us. We don't always realize that the beginning of something great is happening until we're able to look back at it and see that yes, that was the first part of it all. And that's kind of how I feel now. I'm right in the center of our now, so many pieces of our story coming together to form this very time in our life, I'm able to look back at so many beginnings with this little family of mine, and I'm able to see a new one starting in just one day.

Here we are, here we go...

Full Term.

This baby is full term, and it's very surreal to know that if he doesn't decide to come early, in a little less than three weeks he'll be here. It's been an odd sensation, knowing so much more this time around; and not even as far as birthdate and exactly what time we'll have this baby, but being more comfortable with the idea of pregnancy. It's been said here numerous times, and basically on every blog ever written on second pregnancies- it's just a lot different doing it this time around. And it's not like I didn't savor that first time (hello, if you didn't know, my pregnancy was the most important thing going on in the world at the time), but this time it's more relaxed, with more room to just enjoy, and be at peace with all of it.

So here we are, at 37 weeks. My c-section date is looming closer and closer, and it's really odd not to have those same worries and wonders. Instead, I'll be going in at 6:45am on August 16th, and into the OR at 8:45am. You can set your watch, people! Just kidding. But talk about a change. With Henry I was days late, trying to walk him out, bounce him out, get him out before my doctor began the dreaded induction talk with me. A whole new world this time around.

Charlie is a whole different baby in utero too. He is so high, and has firmly wedged himself up into my right-side ribs, and has been there for a couple of months. It's uncomfortable to sit up in certain positions, which I didn't experience with Henry too much, as he was pretty low to begin with. Another difference is that for the past couple of weeks I've been feeling sick to my stomach, and have had major sensitivities to certain foods. At first I thought it was food poisoning, then when it didn't go away I thought it was a stomach bug, but now I'm pretty sure it's been my body's way of cleaning itself out before labor, which my nurse friend filled me in on. I've been fine the past few days though, so cross your fingers I don't go into labor now that it's out of my system!

A few random things:

The nursery is about 75% complete.  I never did a nursery tour with Henry, but I think it will be fun this time around and I'm excited to share Charlie's corner of our home.

A few of you have asked if I'll be sharing a birth story this time around, and that is a no. I just feel like that has a place in the baby book, rather than on this blog. A few years ago I was eager to share every bit here with Henry's story, but I don't feel that way anymore. I think some things are meant just for us, and like the "Dear Henry" letters I used to share here, I do write Charlie every week, but this time they're kept just for him.

I'm still working out regularly, although it's definitely become more challenging the past few weeks. Last night we went on an hour+ long walk in our hilly neighborhood. This morning I woke up as usual to go to the gym, but my body definitely let me know that that would not be happening, and instead I got an extra hour of sleep. That's been my biggest thing with working out while pregnant- just always listening to my body.

I've been thinking about my favorite foods this time around, and although I didn't really experience cravings, the same things have sounded good the entire time: grapes, nectarines, apples, salt & vinegar baked chips, and cheese! Lots of cheese.

Still haven't taken too many photos during this pregnancy, and still don't have any desire too. Hats off to anyone who is able to do weekly or monthly belly photos, or heck, even every other month. The best I've done is those silly, in-the-mirror/reminiscent-of-Myspace photos, but that's about it. To be honest I pretty much wear the same thing every day, just different versions of it, and if it were socially acceptable I would wear this pair of yoga/pajama pants I have on right now out of the house and everywhere I went. Maybe that would be a great maternity style post- Look How I've Styled this Awesome Pair of PJ Pants for 9 Months Straight! After this my blogger card should be revoked. ;)

And finally, I've been thinking so, so much about what it will feel like to have my heart double in size, so soon. I can't even imagine loving someone else as much as I love Henry, but I know I will, and I can't even begin to explain the excitement I feel over this.

And that's about it. This is me at 37-weeks, full term and ready to meet Charlie. 2 weeks, 4 days to go. Excited, nervous, happy that this bit of the journey ends and the real fun is about to begin. Here we go...

xoxo

One, Two, Three, Four

photo credit: Emily Snitzer

I can't remember the exact day, or where I was when I really and truly knew that Hank was it for me. But there it was; a very distinct divide between "then" and "now," and although yes, of course there was everything before, life almost didn't seem to start until I met him. And then with Henry, I remember sitting in the green chair in his room, rocking him to sleep one night, and thinking how odd it was that life could have ever felt complete before him. It's funny, isn't it? How these puzzle pieces come clicking into our lives, sometimes unexpectedly, sometimes not, but when they fit and they're in place, it just feels right. The "ohh yes, this is what life is, this is how it's supposed to go."

For the past almost three years Hank and I have had the privilege of spending our minutes and hours and days with our Henry. When he came into this world on that November morning, we knew everything would change in an instant, and of course, it did. But we weren't really prepared for how beautiful life can be when you have this little light, this perfect person full of only love, that is suddenly a part of everything you do. It's amazing, really. And I think back over these past years in awe of the three of us- each of us learning and growing into these new roles: a mother, a father, and a newborn-turned-baby-turned-toddler-turned little boy. We've spent these last few year all together, and now in just three short weeks, there will be one more person to add to our brood. A fourth. And just like that, life goes on a-changing.

And of course along with the gushing and the excited anticipation and the overly-sentimental paragraphs, comes a lot of nervousness. A lot. We've been "just the three of us" for awhile now, and we have it down. On good days it's easy, and on bad days it's not really too bad at all. Henry and I have our routines and our schedules. We know how to get things done, and we do it efficiently (most of the time). When we go grocery shopping it's an easy task- out of the car, into the cart, into the store, and out again. But now my mind is swirling with the "how will I evers" and the "how will that works," and on many occasions I've run scenarios like these through in my mind; "okay, get a cart, bring it over to the car, put Charlie in the wrap, get Henry, put him in the cart, food shop- that can't be so hard, right?"  It's the little things like this make me slightly nervous- the everyday tasks that seem so simple now that I know will become more complicated. But at the very same time, in the very same thought, I think about how before Henry I felt that way, and how now it's just second nature. New becomes familiar, and soon it's hard to ever imagine anything different.

But above all, there's a sense of adventure that is superseding all of it- all of the sentimentality, the nervousness. Past the silly nerves or the apprehension at the unknown there's the simple joy in the fact that so soon, one will become two. My sons. And yes, it's scary as hell to feel like we're jumping head first from comfortable and pretty easy into a whole new world of possible chaos, but it's more exciting. Much more. More of everything really.

And so now we have three weeks left, just the three of us. Soon our fourth will join us, and soon I'll be right here in this space, writing about how I never could have imagined the world without him here. Because that's how life works. You think you have it all figured out, and then in an instant, everything changes. In my case, our son will be arriving and our family is about to grow bigger; one, two, three, four. This page in our book is turning, and all of it- the excitement, the nervousness, the fear, the joys- it's all such a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Baby Essentials V.1

I've been getting together everything we'll need for Charlie's arrival, and I thought it would be a good idea to post an updated list of "baby essentials." After Henry, I realized that I needed a LOT less than I ever thought. If you want to really know, all you need is a food source, a warm place to sleep, clean diapers, and you're good to go. Really! No need for fancy anything, but there are of course some awesome "extras" that made those first few weeks and months a little easier. And for us, these are them:

1. Summer Infant Rest-Assured Sleeper: I love the idea of co-sleeping, and I know that it's perfectly safe to do, but I just worry way too much (and Hank is way too hard of a sleeper) to be able to actually get any sleep with a newborn right in the bed. So this co-sleeper was the best thing for us! It goes right in your bed- Hank and I kept it between us with Henry- and makes breastfeeding a breeze since your baby is right there. The co-sleeper is reinforced with steel so there's no worries about rolling over onto it, and its mesh sides allow for air circulation. When Henry was first born we tried a pack 'n play in our bedroom but because of my c-section recovery it wasn't feasible to be getting out of bed so often to feed him. Then we tried him in our bed, but like I mentioned above, I was way too nervous. Finally I came across this wonderful co-sleeper online and it was a great solution for us. Henry ended up sleeping in it until he was about 6 months old, when we transitioned him to his crib full-time. The move to his crib was super easy too, and I think this can be partially attributed to the fact that the co-sleeper is just like a mini-crib. I also love that it folds up and is fully portable, which came in handy as we travel often. I'm looking forward to using this right away with Charlie this time around too.

2. Snuza: If you're going to get one "expensive" baby item (normally $160 but on sale via Amazon for $104 right now), let it be this. I try to tell every Mom I know about the Snuza, because we absolutely loved ours. The Snuza is a portable baby breathing monitor that clips onto your little one's diaper. If your baby stops breathing (in the case of SIDS), it vibrates to try and "remind" the baby to breath. If breath is still not detected in 20 more seconds, an alarm goes off.  I really love Snuza because unlike the AngelCare monitors, it can be worn at anytime, which is convenient for long car rides, naps, sleeping in your bed, etc. Plus, with the in-crib movement monitors, once the baby can roll off of the sensor pad it's useless. The Snuza can be used all the way past the baby's first birthday, when the risk of SIDS greatly decreases. I can't stress enough how wonderful it was to have this peace of mind!

3. BreastFriend Nursing Pillow: Because I had a c-section, I needed a nursing pillow that wouldn't rub or irritate my incision post-surgery. Although I had and loved my Boppy, I didn't use it until a month or so postpartum, and even then I still preferred the Breast Friend. The difference is that the BF snaps around your body, and provides more a flat (yet soft) place for baby to lay while feeding, and for a first-time breastfeeder, it was nice to have the baby positioned properly from the get-go. I also found it to be incredibly comfortable for both Henry and me, and this is the pillow I'll be bringing to the hospital with Charlie.

4. Fisher Price Lamb Seat: I'm sure there are a million other seats just like this one, but since this is the one we got, this is the one we ended up loving (the matching swing on the other hand- totally disliked it!). Henry absolutely loved sitting in this chair, and we used it from day one at home when I needed to set him down. He would nap in the chair, hang out in the chair, and I'd put it up on our big counter (securely of course) when I had to cook so he could be right there with me. This was definitely a must-have for us.

5. Prefold cloth diapers: Fancy-schmancy burp cloths (yes, they exist!) never really had a place in our house, and the very best thing we found were these cloth diapers. Throw one over your shoulder, wipe up spit-up, line the changing table, whatever...these are multi-purpose, cheap and hold up like nothing else. I kept a huge pile next to the changing table, and we will using the same pile this time around for Baby C.

6. Wrap/snap shirts: In those first days, I found it to be the easiest to have Henry in a wrap shirt and diaper. You change diapers so frequently that I hated having to snap and resnap onesies a million times, and these shirts allowed diapers to be easy on, easy off. These shirts are also great because they're warm, go on and come off easily, and allow the belly button/umbilical stump to breath as it heals. The shirts also have built-in mitts at the end of the sleeves, but we never used them.

7. Playmat/Activity Gym: I don't think you need many toys in the infant stages, but a good playmat is always a plus. A soft blanket works too, but Henry really enjoyed looking up at the different toys hanging down, the mirror, etc., and when it was time for tummy time it was nice to have all of the distractions right there.

8. California Baby Extra-Sensitive Products: although Henry was never (and still isn't) super sensitive to products, from the beginning I wanted to be extra careful, so we used California Baby Products. As he got bigger we continued to use them, and I've always been impressed. Safe and gentle for baby, and the smell! So wonderful.

Do you have anything you'd add to this list? Feel free to share in the comments below!

Disclaimer: this post is NOT sponsored in any way - I didn't receive any of these items for free and was not paid to speak about them. I just wanted to be sure you guys knew that! I did though, use affiliate links, so to visit Amazon without my link, please click here. xoxo

August 16, 2013.

Right after Henry was born. It's mind-blowing to me to think that in less than 7 weeks we'll be doing this all over again. 

So. We have a date. And I can't even explain to you how weird it feels to know the birthday of our son, to not have those same feelings I had with Henry, the trying to guess if he would be early or late, worrying that my doctor would want to eventually induce me when he was days past his due date. It's strange to wrap my head around the fact that I will wake up on August 16th, get ready, drive to the hospital, and two hours later, have Charlie in my arms. Maybe it's considered the "unnatural" way, but to me, it feels right. Just the way it should be, for us.

I wrote and deleted a long paragraph here about the why and how I chose a repeat, scheduled c-section. I wrote about how I didn't feel I needed to apologize for my choice, and how a baby is a baby and a mother is a mother, no matter how the child arrives. But I realized in doing so I am apologizing in a way, and making something that I wholeheartedly feel is a non-issue, into an issue. So instead I will simply say this: when I was asked by my doctor what my choice was, I chose to have another c-section. And so that's why Hank and I have a big circle on our calendar, around that special day in August, the day I'll go into the birthing center in at 6:45 in the morning, and have our baby at 8:45. Our little clock is now set and now we know for sure how many more days there will be just three, before the newest member joins our family.

August 16th. So excited to meet you, Charlie.

p.s. Have you had a repeat c-section? What was your experience like? I'd love to hear about it.

2nd Trimester Must-Haves

I thought I would continue my "must-haves" series into the 2nd trimester, and then if anything changes as far as what I've been loving/needing during the third, I'll post once more. You can check out my 1st trimester list here, and as always, please feel free to add to the list in the comments. Enjoy!

1. Target's Maternity Kimono dress. I have this dress in black and LOVE it. It's the most comfortable, flattering dress in the world, and I would wear it everyday if I could. If you decide to order it be advised that at least in my experience it does run a little big. I normally wear a size small, sometimes medium and had to get an x-small in this dress.

2. Belli's Fresh Start Pre-Treatment Scrub. Luckily my pregnancy acne has cleared up but I've been left with dry, sometimes flaky skin. I've been using Belli's Acne Clearing Face Wash and the Acne Control Spot Treatment (both God-sends, seriously), and I will continue to use them, but I needed something to exfoliate too. This scrub is perfect and works so well, and like the entire Belli line it was made with a pregnant woman in mind. I am in no way sponsored to write this, so keep that in mind when I wholeheartedly say that these are the best face products I've ever used. I credit them to giving me back my clear skin!

3. Earth Mama Angel Baby Natural Nipple Butter. I started using this during the second trimester with Henry, just applying it at night when I would put on my belly cream. I really think starting so early really helped to soften me up in preparation for breastfeeding and when it came time to do so, I had no issues with dryness or cracking.

4. Boppy Prenatal Total Body Pillow. Now let's be honest, to spend anything over say, $30 on a pillow seems outrageous to me...but when I received this body pillow as a gift I fell in love. And I think if I would have tried it before receiving the gift I might have even been inclined to shell out the cash for it. It's awesome, and it's perfect for the very end of the 2nd trimester and through the 3rd when sleeping starts to get a little tricky. However, a regular old, non-fancy body pillow would work great too.

5. Luna Bar Chocolate Dipped Coconut Bars. If you love Samoas Girl Scout cookies, you will love these. They're a healthier, folic-acid and vitamin-packed alternative to those sugary treats and my go-to when I crave something sweet. As an added bonus you can just throw one in your bag for those times when you're ravenously hungry, which for me has been most of my pregnancy.

6. Liz Lange for Target Maternity Twill Shorts. I have tried SO many pairs of shorts while being pregnant this summer, and the biggest problem has been dealing with an uncomfortable waistband. After trying shorts from ASOS, Gap, Old Navy, and a few others from Target, this pair is the best. Be advised though that the material is very soft- almost like a  tee material, but thick too so it's not obvious that it's such a soft twill. These are insanely comfortable because they have a looser and higher spandex waistband that doesn't dig at all. The shorts are also a good length, and do not ride up on my newly, bigger thighs (thank you pregnancy!) or chafe while walking.

7. Citrus anything. I had to include this because my 2nd trimester has been ALL about fruit, and more specifically, citrus! I can't get enough. If I had more room I'd also add a photo of a nectarine, some cherries, a Pink Lady apple...are you getting the picture here?

p.s. this post is completely unsponsored, but I did use Amazon affiliate and rstyle.me links. 

29 Weeks.

29 weeks. Whoooa. I know I've said it so, so many times, but this second pregnancy is flying by. And maybe it is for you too as a reader, because I haven't talked about it too much on the blog. I think I've done a total of 2 or 3 pregnancy update posts which is so different from the first time around when I had to refrain from doing them weekly! This past weekend though, we were celebrating our birthdays and anniversary and Hank snapped a few quick photos on the lawn of our hotel, post-swimming, half-wet hair and all. Fancy!

So I am officially 29 weeks tomorrow, in my third trimester with just a couple of months to go. I have a doctor's appointment today and we may end up picking a "due date," although I guess it would be considered more of a birthday, right? As far as right now though, the main theme of the third trimester so far has been fatigue, for sure. 1st trimester I was pretty tired, 2nd I felt great, and I'd say now I'm more tired than ever. I feel like it took me FOREVER to actually look pregnant this time (although I feel like last time around was kind of similar) but now I am most definitely pregnant and seem to be making up for lost time in the belly-growing department.

When I'm pregnant I seem to gain it all over- first in my face, then my thighs, then my arms, and then finally my belly. That's been the way it's gone both times around at least- and I still wonder if it will be any different if we end up having a girl one day; if pregnancies are different based on the sex of the baby. It's pretty neat though because I admittedly did sometimes feel weird about getting bigger that first time around...and now, that seems so silly. Our bodies are AMAZING. I feel grateful I get to to do this again and I feel dually grateful to not have those first-time feelings of "oh gosh, I feel so big." This time I do think, "oh gosh, I feel so big," but it's said with kindness and awe, and with thankfulness that my body knows exactly what to do. So thank you body, I love you. Weird thing to say but I don't think we (I) say it enough.

This entire pregnancy been a very sweet experience; I think because a lot of those first time anxieties are gone I've been able to really enjoy it a lot more. With Henry I read every pregnancy book ever written, I was obsessed with making a birth plan, pregnancy apps, you name it. But this time it's just...happening. And this way has been a lot more fun. The weirdest part would definitely be though that whole time seeming to go really fast thing- it's unbelievable to me that in a couple of short months Charlie will be here, in our arms.

Although we definitely want more children, you never really know what the future holds, so in the back of my mind I keep thinking- you never know if this could be the last time you're pregnant. Because really, I don't know. Having this little thought there has made me really stop and pause even more- I've been savoring every little movement. Daydreaming and thinking about our boy, little brother, sweet Charlie who will be here so very soon.

p.s. dress courtesy of Lulu*s. See it/buy it here.

Birthdays & Pregnancy & Foam Pits & Graham Crackers

Summer's almost here!

There's so much to say, and to write. First of all, thank you guys for all the input on Tuesday evening's post. It's amazing to know that I am so not alone in these thoughts! I'm sure it will be a topic I'll revisit in the years to come, but for now reading all of your different perspectives gave me so much insight. Thank you.

So, update time. Life is good. My 31st birthday is in less than a week and I'm excited. My Mom always likes to say that it wouldn't be my birthday without a little crying on my part, but now I'm pleased to say the tears are usually reserved for happy reasons. Growing up though, I was such an emotional kid that I have some vivid memories of getting so, so upset during my small family birthday parties. Even as a little one I had a strange perfectionist flair, and I often had expectations that didn't match up to reality. And at age eight, I was a little too young to understand that I needed to let go of that. I can recall one birthday (and we have photos to illustrate this) where I blew out the candles too early, resulting in tears. Another year my Mom made a chocolate cake instead of pineapple upside cake, and of course, I cried. And yet another where I was given my first training bra (A BRA! Horror of horrors!) in front of some of my extended family. And you guessed it...tears! haha. Oh, emotional me. But nowadays my birthday tears are all happy and I hope this year is the same. Just no training bras or premature candle blow-outs, okay?

As far as the pregnancy, yesterday marked the first day of the third trimester. Um, excuse me? Where did the time go? I certainly don't feel like I should already be 27 weeks pregnant, but here I am, and here's that growing bump too. I've been feeling really great up until this week, when the fatigue kind of came back out of nowhere and has me wanting to sleep everywhere, and anywhere. I am NOT a nap person. If I fall asleep for even ten minutes I have the worst time getting to bed at night, but it's been unavoidable the past couple of days. I sit down for a second once Henry goes down for his nap, and I'm out like a light. The only other pregnancy thing going on is anxiety. This happened last time I was pregnant too, and it's not fun at all. Nothing serious like panic attacks or anything like that, but just an overall anxious feeling that comes and goes every once and awhile. But other than that it's been smooth sailing and I'm still in the "love being pregnant, would love to do it a couple more times if possible" club. That's the official name, if you didn't know.

My c-section hasn't been scheduled yet but I keep thinking about how strange it will be to know the exact date I'll be giving birth. Last time around I was past my due date and it was a very different experience than knowing when it would be happening. But this time I can shower, get ready, and drive calmly over to the hospital? Craaazy!

And what else is going on? Henry has been doing gymnastics once a week and loving it. He is a wild, physical, energetic little guy so it's been wonderful to have an outlet for him to be "safely crazy" in. The class is awesome, if not a little unstructured for my taste, but overall great. We start each morning with runs through their huge toddler obstacle course, and then throughout the hour they do a variety of activities- foam pit, trampoline, etc. It's a toddler paradise! Other things in our world: getting the nursery ready for Charlie, making progress on our backyard, and me trying to harness the ups and downs that these pregnancy hormones are making me feel. Hank...bless his patient heart! Oh and one last notable thing- have you ever eaten something to death? Not your death of course, but the food's death? I think I may have done this with graham crackers this week. When we got back from Disneyland I put off food shopping right away because I was too tired and figured we could make do with what we had in the pantry. After lunchtime rolled around and Henry went down for his nap I was ravenous for something (anything!) sweet, so I dug out a box of graham crackers and went to town. I ate quite a few of them, then a few more, and before I knew it I had polished off an entire sleeve. I felt sick the rest of the day and I am not sure if I can ever eat another graham cracker again. Sad day for the graham cracker over here...

Yours in random posts,

Danielle

21 Weeks

First of all, I have to say that I have completely given into the fact that, unless my brain does a total 180, belly photos with weekly updates will not be happening, at least not regularly. Once and awhile, maybe. But all last week I kept telling Hank, okay today we'll snap some quick photos, and every night when he got home I'd say, oh no, tomorrow would be better. And then tomorrow came and it would be the same thing. And I felt guilty! How silly, right? Guilty over the BELLY PHOTOS I kept putting off. SILLY. I mean, who cares? For some reason though I felt like I should do them regularly, like that's just what I was supposed to do. Does that make sense? Oh, blogging.

As far as the pregnancy though, I'm loving it! I'm officially 21 weeks today and smack dab in the enjoying phase, now that I'm fully out of the first trimester and have been for some time. It's still crazy to me to feel these little kicks and flips and pokes, and be suddenly reminded that yes, there is a baby in there. I can't tell if it's because I had more time to think about it before I was chasing around a toddler all day, but I swear, I just felt more pregnant last time.

Right now our main focus is getting the house ready for baby! We're changing one of the guest rooms into a nursery this weekend, and will probably get painting on Sunday. I'm thinking all white walls, and I'll share the rest of our plans once we get going. Since we bought our home just a month or so before Henry was born, I feel like I never really got the chance to get it exactly how I wanted. I love it, but now I'm just excited to get his "big boy" room up and running. Doing two rooms for two boys at once is interesting, because I gravitate towards the same things and I have to remind myself that the rooms shouldn't be carbon copies of one another, no matter how much I want to put the same curtain panels and rug in both.

It's also still WEIRD to me to imagine having two boys running around. It's not like I was set on having a girl this time, but I think my mind wandered a lot more that way than it did to the boy side. So when we heard "boy!" it took my brain a second to process it, and I'm still laughing to myself thinking of the wild chaos that will be happening once baby is here, and both of these dudes are able to run and play together.

I've gotten a few of the same questions on my IG/blog/email/Twitter, so I thought I'd answer them here, even though I've already touched on a few of these things before.

Do you guys have named picked out?

Yes!  First and middle, ready to go. Some people like to wait and see the baby before they name them, but I like being set on the name and being able to call the little one by name during pregnancy. Henry also uses the baby's name and it's just about the cutest thing ever.

Why are you having a planned c-section? Why not try for a VBAC?

I already answered this in an earlier post but I'd say this is one of the most common questions I've been asked lately. I had an emergency c-section with Henry after almost two days of natural labor and three hours of pushing, and although my doctor didn't tell me I couldn't try for a vaginal birth, I'm just not interested. I had an easy recovery with my c-section, and although the actual labor wasn't bad (up until the end when they told me NOT to push...try to stop that phenomenon from happening), I just have absolutely no interest in trying it again. So instead I'll be scheduled with the same doctor, and I'll know what day our little guy will be born. That is totally strange to me, to know in advance when I'm giving birth, but that's the plan!

Do you guys want to have more kids or is two boys it?

I would honestly have six kids if we could. Ideally we would like 4, but like my Mom says, have two and see.

Are you still working out? What is your workout plan?

Yes, still working out regularly. I'm a total morning person and usually get up super early, way before Hank and Henry (around 4:45am) and go to the gym. I usually do about 45 minutes of cardio- a mix of the elliptical, stair stepper, bike, etc- then some weights. I'm used to lifting heavy but while pregnant I don't at all; the most I do in free weights is about 12 lbs. in each hand if I'm doing biceps or something. But that's it. I also have been doing prenatal yoga and barre, and going on long walks most days with Henry. With all of that said though, some days I just don't feel like it and I don't push it. Besides our walks, I haven't worked out the past couple of days because I've been a little tired and couldn't fall asleep, and the only way I'll wake up early is if I got to bed by 9 or 9:30. Usually this is easy to do, but some days it's hard. So my motto is just do what feels good, and that's been working for me.

21 weeks has been good to me. Although I have been a little up and down with my energy levels, all food is tasting good (reeeaaal good, people), skin and hair are behaving, and I'm feeling pretty wonderful. My stomach is about the same size it was with Henry at this point, although one difference is that this baby moves a lot less. It will be interesting to see if that corresponds with their personalities, like it apparently did with my sister and me. My Mom says that I didn't move a lot, and I ended up being a super laid back kid, content to read for hours on her lap...and then my sister moved a LOT and ended up being a super wild kid. Henry moved a lot in my belly and is my energetic rascal of a boy, so we'll see if this next baby is a little more subdued.

It's hard to believe I'm past the halfway mark, and before we know it summertime and new baby time will be here!

xoxo

It's a...

BOY!

...and we are positively over the moon! I had thought girl during the first whole part of my pregnancy- I was convinced it had to be one because this time was just so different. But a couple weeks ago I started feeling like it was a boy, and Henry changed his tune too, telling me this week that there was a brother in there. Funny, right? And lo and behold...today we discovered that yes, there is a baby boy doing wonderfully in there. He was a stubborn little guy, and had his legs crossed for over an hour resulting in a long, long ultrasound (bless our patient tech!), but in the end it worked out and we got to sneak and peek.

We're all so excited. I feel so, so fortunate to have grown up with a sister, and I can't imagine a better gift for Henry than a brother to spend his days with. Feeling so lucky today, and counting down 'til August when we meet our little guy.

Thank you all for all of your excitement and support. It's so neat knowing all of you are along on this journey; I think blogging makes times like this 100x more fun, if that's even possible!

xoxo


p.s. if there was audio in that photo up there, you'd hear Henry yelling CHEESE until he was red in the face. Sometimes he even yells FROMAGE! if he's feeling especially silly. Can't wait to see this rascal as a big brother.

Today's the Day!

photo by my sweet friend Lauren Ristow This morning we'll be having our big ultrasound! Our first priority is to make sure our little one is still healthy and doing okay in there, and second if he or she is being cooperative, to find out the sex. Ahh! I kind of feel like a crazy person being so excited about this (my tweets have probably reached an annoying level of talking about it), but I think it's just such an insane thing to find out if we're adding a little brother or a little sister to the mix- it will obviously change the whole dynamic either way but after 20 weeks, I'm ready to know! Like any mother I'm over the moon happy with either. I keep having these sweet thoughts of brothers, and then in the same daydream little ideas of a tiny me. So we'll see.

My gut does tell me one thing, and when I share our news I'll tell you if I'm right. I don't know why I don't feel comfortable typing it out there now, but I think it's just something I want to hold a little close to me until our appointment, and until I see if my intuition is correct.

Hank is thinking girl, and it's pretty much the same across that board with my family and friends but I think it's just because we already have a boy that people always think you "should" have the opposite or something, if that makes sense.

I thought it would be fun to take a look at some Old Wives' Tales and see what rings true. I don't believe in any of this stuff but it's still pretty fun to read through them.

Old Wives' Tale #1: Carrying low it's a boy, carrying high it's a girl.

I'm carrying totally different than with Henry. I can even still wear my pre-pregnancy jeans because I'm carrying so high. With Henry he was low, low, low. So this one goes to the girls!

Old Wives' Tale #2: Heart rate. Under 140 it's a boy, over 140 it's a girl.

This baby has been consistently in the 150s at every appointment. So, girl for this one too.

Old Wives' Tale #3: Skin and hair. Both looking good? It's a boy. Broken out and dealing with lifeless, dull hair? Girl, because apparently they "steal your beauty."

As I've talked about before my hair has not been looking its best and my skin has been a nightmare. Opposite of my first pregnancy. Girl again.

Old Wives' Tale #4: Chinese Gender Chart. Not necessarily an "Old Wives' Tale" but I'll still include it. See the chart here.

Boy, and it looks like with this chart I have only have the chance of having a girl during two out of twelve months in my 30th year.

Old Wives' Tale #5: Morning sickness. None, it's a boy. Sick, it's a girl.

I wasn't sick at ALL with Henry, but with this one I was a little queasy in the beginning but never threw up and I wouldn't classify it as morning sickness at all. So this one goes to boy.

So if the Old Wives' Tales are right, at 3/5 it looks like there's a girl in there. Our appointment is at 10:30am, so we will soon see. Can't wait to share the news.

Do you have a guess? Let me know in the comments!

xo

On Feeling Feelings

Oh pregnancy, you're funny. I'm already a super emotional person but somehow this pregnancy has turned me into the biggest sap. Crying over car commercials! Tearing up at a cute old couple crossing the street! Listening to Moon River over and over again feeling like my heart might burst!

It's pretty neat though, right? In my kinda-crazy brain I like to think it's my heart's way of making more room in it for another little person to take his or her place in there. Like all of this crying is making my heart's capacity grow and expand, and in 5 months when the tiniest baby arrives I'll be ready. My heart will be ready!

So many things have been tugging on my heart strings, but this album for some reason has had this magical power to make me feel all of these feelings. And the second song. Just listen to that song, and tell me it doesn't evoke something in you. And it's not like it's some meant-to-make-you-cry type of song. Maybe it's the vocals or the cello, but it's just so beautiful to me. On repeat, forever.

Before Henry was born I had all of these images in my mind of how things would be- how it would feel to do certain things- to dance around the kitchen with him, to sit and play the piano with him, to walk holding his hand. And now these things are happening. One day is this day and it's so overwhelming to me, and so overwhelming to my even more over-emotional self that I want to cry at the simple joy in all of it.

And then I remember thinking awhile ago what it would be like to be pregnant again, what it might feel like to say "my kids," to be a mama of two, spending my days surrounded by children. And suddenly, I am here. And almost halfway done with this oft-dreamed-of pregnancy.

Life is beautiful, isn't it? The constant circle, the ebb and flow, the one days becoming the todays, and all of the possibilities to do with it what we will. And one day I'll look back to now, pregnant with our second baby, feeling so happy and emotional and excited, all rolled into one, and it will be amazing to me that I was once there, because I'll be somewhere totally different. Because that's how it works.

Feeling all these feelings and tucking it all away, in the same place I keep the happiest of memories. I want to remember this.

xoxo

16 weeks.

Oh 16 weeks, I'm loving you. Not only does today mark one month or so until we find out if our little one will be a boy or a girl, it has brought me back that elusive energy I've been missing since the beginning. It's weird- with Henry I felt normal almost all of the time. I haven't had any morning sickness with this pregnancy either but I have been incredibly tired and kind of depressed in those first few months. I think feeling down was a mixture of being so tired and not having the motivation to do much, but also because I think my hormones are even wackier than my first time around. I mentioned it in my first pregnancy post but my skin has been haywire, and my chest is bigger than with Henry too. Some of my friends seem to think this means I'm having a girl (more estrogen in my body!) but I'm not convinced one way or another.

This week the baby is the size of an avocado, which is funny because up until recently avocados have totally grossed me out. Guacamole is no big deal, but plain avocados? No thank you. Other than that I haven't had too many food aversions at all besides chocolate and sugary sweets not sounding too good. I can't get enough of fresh fruit though, just like with Henry!

I think I'm most excited right now to find out if we're having a boy or a girl, and start planning the nursery and all of that fun stuff. Henry will be staying in his room, and the baby will take one of the guest rooms right across the hall. Every night after tucking Henry in I can't help but think about how weird it will be to have two kiddos sleeping in their bedrooms. Surreal. And so, so exciting.

It's such a miracle to be growing a human being inside of my body- it astounds me every single day and I am beyond grateful for all of it. I could gush and gush about it, but I think I'll save some of that for another day.

And just for fun, here is my 16 week update I posted while pregnant with Henry. I love that I have all of it to look back on...and I'm also a little shocked I ever thought that was a baby belly! haha. I know this time around I'm not showing too much yet either, but I wanted to start photos anyway. I'm looking forward to documenting this pregnancy too!

Quick question- are any of you expecting? I feel like so many people are pregnant right now! Baby boom, for sure.

xoxo

1st Trimester Must-Haves

My friend Rachael posted some of her First Trimester Lifesavers, and I thought it would be fun to share some of the things I've been loving this time around too (two image boards in one week? Hope you'll bear with me!). I've mentioned it before but this pregnancy has been really different than my first. Luckily this week my energy finally returned but over the past few months there have been some very specific things that have kept me sane!

1. Rainbow Light Prenatal Vitamins. I LOVE these vitamins for a few reasons- but mainly because they don't upset my stomach at all. I've taken them all times of the day, stomach full of food or not, and they've never made me feel ill. They're also a food-based multi-vitamin which is awesome, and you only have to take one a day.

2. Chobani yogurt. I'm not always the biggest dairy person but lately I've been so into Greek yogurt, especially Chobani's Apple Cinnamon and Black Cherry. I add in all sort of different things to mix it up (granola, frozen fruit, etc.), and I love that it's a healthier choice for a sweet treat for the end of the night, chock full of calcium and protein for the baby.

3. Clementine oranges. Henry and I have been eating a box of these a week. Cannot get enough!

4. Champion seamless cami sports bras. Target sells a few different versions of this bra, but the photo above is the exact one I love. I have a ton of them in different colors and wear them almost everyday when I can get away with it. Once of my first (and most annoying, in my opinion) pregnancy symptoms is a bigger chest. Almost overnight I had to say goodbye to my small Bs. Some women love this change but as for me, no thanks. I get through it though by wearing comfy things up top, and this bra is a lifesaver for sure.

5. Old Navy's maternity leggings. I've tried a ton of different types, and these are hands down the best. They're incredibly comfortable with a totally non-binding waistband that makes lounging and running errands that much better. Throw on a cute tunic and flats and you're good to go!

6. Bio-Oil. I used this last pregnancy, in conjunction with a cream (I can't for the life of me remember what it was called), but the latter stained almost all of our sheets and clothing I wore it with. I didn't get one stretch mark though, and although I know it's largely due to genetics, but I do think the Bio-Oil had something to do with it. I use it twice a day, and love the smell.

7. Broadways Calls Oregon. This might be an odd choice but I've been listening to this album non-stop while doing cardio this pregnancy. I think a couple good albums you love are so important to have loaded on your phone so you can really unwind and unplug while you exercise. I've been using either the treadmill or elliptical most mornings and this album has been my best friend. Maybe the baby will come out already a Broadway Calls fan?

8. Belli products. This is a new find and I'm SO thankful for both this Acne Spot Control Treatment and the Anti-blemish Face Wash. I haven't had any morning sickness but I have had to deal with some acne, and the Belli line has helped immensely. Plus, it's formulated especially for pregnant women so unlike most over-the-counter acne treatments you know it's safe for the little one. They offer many, many products for pregnant women so be sure to check them out.

9. Camelbak Water Bottle. I aim to drink 3 of these of a day, and being able to refill it keeps me on track with my water intake.

10. Omega Mom Prenatal Fish Oil (Omega 3) and Borage Seed capsules. I take two of these everyday along with my prenatal vitamin, and unlike many fish oil products, these have zero aftertaste and don't bother my stomach either. Love them.

Fellow mamas, is there anything you'd add to your own list?

 xoxo

p.s. this post is completely unsponsored, but I did use Amazon affiliate linking on #1, 6, 8 and 10.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

Today, 14 weeks and 5 days

1. So Hank and I went and saw Silver Linings Playbook yesterday. I really loved it, but I think if I hadn't already read the book I would have loved it even more. The book and movie were so different, and although I definitely preferred the book to the movie, I think they did do a great job with the film adaptation. The acting was great and I think the casting was perfect. Also, I never really thought of Bradley Cooper as a great actor but I was just so in love with how well he portrayed Pat. So B.Cooper, you've got a new fan in me!

2. The energy level difference between the 1st trimester and this one is insane. With Henry I felt pretty normal the whole time- never super tired or fatigued but with this pregnancy I've felt like I've been in a sleepy haze the past three months. And even though I'm already in the 2nd trimester by a week or so, I FINALLY woke up this morning feeling like my normal self. SO excited about that. I'll be doing a proper weekly pregnancy post later this week so I'll talk more about all of this then but this is worth a paragraph all its own. Celebrating!

3. Downton Abbey. Okay so I know I am insanely late to this party but wow! I watched all of Season 1 on Netflix, then borrowed Season 2 from Hank's step-mom and it was so hard to make myself go to sleep and stop watching episodes. I thought it would probably be overrated since everyone and their neighbor seems to be obsessed with it but lesson learned (again), everyone and their neighbor were right. I don't really even know where to begin but the main thing I love about it is how developed the characters are. It's so strange how quickly you become attached and invested, and the writing is just beyond wonderful. Favorite, for sure. Have you see this show? I'm JUST starting Season 3 so no spoilers please.

4. Can we just take a second and thank Costco for selling huge 4lb bags of frozen organic cherries? I've been living off them as my nightly sweet treat. I mentioned it on IG/Twitter but oddly enough chocolate or any non-fruit sweets do not sound good. I wouldn't turn down a slice of pie or anything, but my beloved Cadbury Mini Eggs actually are disgusting to me right now. I have no idea how that happened. Pregnancy is caa-razy.

xoxo
 

Pregnancy #2, Questions and Answers

{about 12.5 weeks along}

So, so much to catch up on! First of all, THANK YOU so, so much for all of your kind words, congratulations, comments, messages, etc. about our exciting news! Hank and I were just blown away with all of the love you guys showed us and I just want you to know how much it's appreciated.

I also wanted to add that my friend Lauren Ristow took all of our announcement photos (she's amazing) and if you're on the West Coast and want to work with her, she's offering $20 off your package. Just head over to her website to contact her. She shoots everything from weddings, births, babies, events, you name it. She's affordable and insanely talented. Just be sure to tell her I sent you!

It's hard to know where to start, but I thought for this first pregnancy post I'd just answer some of the questions I've been getting- so many of them have been the same so I figure I'll touch on some of them now.

1. Will you be doing weekly/monthly updates? 

Updates yet, but pregnancy photos every week/month? I'm not sure yet. It's hard because I did that with Henry, but I just don't feel as motivated to take photos of myself. I usually feel awkward in posed photos like that but at the same time I feel like it's unfair to not have a ton of pregnancy photos for this little one to look back on (if they'll even think that they're cool to look back on?! haha...). But, now that I'm thinking about it, I probably will and if I do, I'll most likely begin at 15 weeks. And on a related note, I cannot believe I ever posted bare belly photos with Henry! Hats off to anyone who does, but honestly looking back it surprises me that I did that.

2. Do you want a boy or a girl?

Honestly, I don't care either way. Before I was pregnant the first time I always envisioned having a little girl, but then once we had Henry it just made sense that he was a boy. And now I can't imagine it any other way. I love being the mama of a boy and would be delighted to have TWO boys to cherish, but at the same time having a little girl would be INSANE. Both are equally exciting, but for different reasons. And you can bet your bottom dollar that we'll be finding out the gender come 20 weeks. (Impatiently) counting down...

3. Do you feel like you're having a boy or a girl?

Not really, although I had the weirdest dream which I'll talk about next week. Henry also consistently says "my baby sister" unprompted, so we'll see if his hunch is right. Do you have a guess?

4. Do you have names picked out?

Yes! We've had our girl name for seriously EIGHT years. Isn't that crazy? We've just always known that if we had a girl that would be her name. And we decided on a boy name about 6 months ago, and we're set on that too. I'm a weirdo and live in fear of a friend or blogger using the same name (even though we'd still use it), so I don't tell anyone. Maybe that's silly but it makes me feel better to keep it locked up.

5. How have you been feeling?

It's weird, with Henry I was teaching full time, so in a way I'm not sure if I ever gave myself time to feel like shit. But with this pregnancy I've been SO tired. I'm just starting to feel normal again and get some more energy. No sickness, but I have had a couple of days I felt overall queasy...but I wouldn't classify it as full blown morning sickness. The main symptom I'm dealing with? ACNE! Oh my god, it's terrible. I've always had good skin, but after I stopped nursing Henry it went all wacky. It never went totally back to normal and a few weeks into my pregnancy it went absolutely crazy. I've been dealing with blemishes like I've never had before and thankfully it's finally starting to clear up a little.  I know there are many other issues I could be dealing with, but it's still a huge bummer. On the flip side though, I'd deal with a million zits just to bring a sweet baby into the world! It's all relative...but I really can't wait until my hormonal skin stops being...so hormonal.

6. Are you planning on continuing with CrossFit?

Actually, no. I have been doing it up until last week, but I just don't feel like I'm getting the best workout there, since everything has to be scaled. I'd rather workout on my own, and do things I am 100% able to do. My focus is on keeping the baby healthy and safe in my belly, not on doing Olympic lifts or keeping up with my pull-ups, and I'd rather do exercises I can fully do that make me feel happy and healthy. I'm still lifting weights regularly but not in the CrossFit setting. I look forward to returning though, after I recover from delivery. I'll basically just be doing the same thing I did last pregnancy (walking, cardio machines, weights, and yoga), which worked out great. I should also add that many women DO partake in Crossfit throughout their entire pregnancy and it's wonderful for them- there are some great websites full of information on how to do it safely- but it's really just not for me.

7. Are you going to try for a VBAC or have another c-section?

I had an emergency c-section with Henry and this time I am planning to go in and have another c-section. I have no interest at all in trying for a VBAC and will happily be scheduling my c-section for August. Some people have been appalled that I don't want to try, but hey, that's the beauty of being able to choose. ;) I just find the idea of VBAC scary, especially after my experience, and although I know c-sections are risky too, I feel totally okay with going for it again.

8. How is this pregnancy different?

It's funny- with my first pregnancy I felt like I was the first person to ever be pregnant, like everything revolved around my pregnancy and me being pregnant. It's kind of embarrassing to look back, but also kind of sweet in my naivety. I was also OBSESSED with being pregnant- I would look at pregnancy apps all day long, read every pregnancy book known to man, scour websites, bookmark nursery inspiration, visit message boards...and this time, I'm just pregnant. At least when I remember I am! It's so funny to me, and totally different. Outside of that, I'd say that my pregnancy with Henry was super easy. I felt normal the entire time and this one I feel very "blah" most of the time. But again, who knows if that's my mindset because I have more time to think about it this time around. Either way it's JUST as exciting, but really different. As far as physical differences, I'm still not showing but I do feel like I'm thicker around the middle already, which I noticed in our pregnancy announcement photos, and in the way my clothes fit. That would be the major thing so far.

On a side note, would you agree that there is major blogger baby boom happening right now?! I'm so excited and happy for so many of my friends who are expecting! Two of my most favorite girls are due right around the same time as me, so hop over and say congrats to Mandy and Diana. So exciting.

p.s. all of these were asked either via comments, emails, tweets, or IG comments. If you have anything else you'd like to know, leave a comment below and I'm happy to answer! xoxo

Plus One

Yes...that's a baby! Come this August, we will be a family of four!

I'm 13 weeks along, and Hank, Henry and I are just bursting at the seams with excitement and happiness. My talented friend Lauren took these photos of us a couple of weekends ago in an old, historic building downtown that was just at the beginning of its renovations, and it's been so difficult for me to keep from telling all of you the good news until I could share the photos. I've had babies on the brain, and some of you may have even guessed what was coming; it's hard holding in news this good!

There's so much more to write about, but I'll keep this first post short and sweet. For now, I'm just so ecstatic to finally share this news! Now who's ready to get excited with me over little tiny baby things, Henry as a big brother, and this sweet summer baby on the way? So, so happy.

xoxo