In A Flash

So yesterday we went to check out a preschool for Henry. Before we even visited I had a feeling it would be "the one" based on what we've heard from friends and the research I did, and I was so happy to find that it was indeed everything I had hoped. But my goodness, I was not prepared for the emotions I'd be feeling as we sat in the class Henry will soon be a part of and watched them sing and laugh and answer questions. Henry jumped in and found his place in the circle, sitting right down there on the letter "P," singing the ABCs with all of his heart. And at the end he clapped, turned around and smiled at me, making sure I was still there and making sure I saw how wonderfully he had sang the song.

I know next week when he actually goes off to his first day my tears will come, but tonight I'm feeling them too. I've written countless times about how I feel like such a huge part of parenting is letting go a little more everyday. And it really is. There was a part of me that thought the day when Henry would be starting school wouldn't happen for a long time. And I guess three years is a long time, but it doesn't feel that way. Not at all.

But even as I type this I'm filled with so much excitement. It's a small program- 2 teachers for 14 kids, and it's a really special school that focuses on "the whole child." When we took our tour I saw art everywhere, music, a community garden, and in the preschool classroom itself I saw learning mixed into everything they were doing. It's hard, because there's a huge part of me that would love to homeschool my babies all of their life, but what's right for my family and our boys is this. And so off he goes next week, taking those first teeny tiny steps towards growing up. Leaving behind a bit of his baby-hood and stepping into these new bigger-boy shoes. And I guess that means I'll have to step into some new shoes too, as I navigate this next phase of our life, dropping off and picking up and filling time. Like I always tell Henry, we're both learning. And next week he'll be stretching those wings a little bit more all while I'm learning how to let go a little more. We're both growing up in a way, and even though tiny bits of me may be sad about change, I know the best is really yet to come.