Driving home from the grocery store tonight, a huge number three balloon filling up the back seat, I started to think about how crazy it was, that I was driving home with a huge number three balloon filling up the back seat. Three. My baby is turning three. It's strange to have your life documented in such a way, that you can look back and see it all. Birth. One. Two. Videos and pictures, a way to relive it all. But no matter what, no one but me knows what it was like to have baby Henry put into my arms, to hear that cry, to be reborn myself, with the birth of my child. I could get lost for hours thinking about it, reminiscing in my own mind about how sweet it was to meet my Henry for the first time. And I thought about all of this, and I thought about today, and about how I have had the honor to watch this baby grow into this boy, and then into a big brother. And as I thought, my phone that was connected to Spotify that was connected to the radio in my car, shuffled to the next song, which just so happened to be "Never Grow Up" by Taylor Swift. Have you heard it? It's one of those songs that makes me cry every time I hear it, much like "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac. It just has that power. And of course, because I was already in the most nostalgic mood, it made me feel so sad and happy and weird and elated that Henry is turning three tomorrow. I cried and cried. And I'm not really sure why exactly I was crying- it was one part feeling sad about how quickly time goes by, another part sad that my baby isn't a baby anymore, and then happy tears too. Crying about how we're doing it, we're really doing it- raising this boy and doing it right, through the ups, the downs, all of it. And it's amazing.
Tomorrow morning my 2-year-old will wake up 3, and in a way, I'm turning 3 too. 3 years of learning how to do this whole parent thing, 3 years of loving harder than I've ever loved before, and 3 years of really coming into my own, not just as Mom, but a person. I don't know if I'll ever be able to thank Henry for what he's given me, but when I think back to the early morning of November 22nd, three years ago, I know that more than anything, he's given me the beginning of the most beautiful story. And most of all, through any sadness I feel about time and birthdays and change, I'm excited about all of the chapters yet to come.
Happy birthday, sweet boy. I love you so much.
Happy 1st Birthday, Henry! from DH on Vimeo.
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